Jenn: You can have a conversation with him WHILE he has a mouth full of boob!
Julie: Your boob is visibly lopsided because it’s full and you’re at the park so your kids is too distracted to nurse.
Tiffany: Your nipples start reminding you of Stretch Armstrong.
Stacy: Your lap is full of toys and your toddler is dangling off the furniture while he eats. You have to tell your utensil-obsessed kiddo that spoons are for the table, not mommy’s milk. You laugh when people say that nursing a toddler is for YOUR benefits and not for the toddler. They have obviously never tried to get a toddler to nurse who didn’t want to, or stop one who does.
Lindsay: Your toddler offers her mommy milk to her teddy bear, dolls, toy animals, and daddy. It’s so nice she is willing to share!
Cat: They ask you to hold their cracker.
April: When he/she is hurt, the first words are, “Boob! Mommy! Boob!”
Julia: They announce, “That kid needs boo-boo” every time they hear a kid crying.
Laura: He’s dancing all over your chest, tummy, chair, the floor, the walls, the dog, WHILE nursing!
Colina: Nursing begins to feel more like a Cirque du Soleil performance.
Sarah: You see nothing wrong with sittin on the couch with your boobs hanging out for the quick ‘run by milking!’
Paula: After nursing you find gum on your nipple!
Laura: You are simultaneously a food source and a raceway for Matchbox cars.
Ariel: You get bras that are specifically padded to hide your nipples from twiddling hands.
Elisa: Your aren’t phased by nursing with a baby standing up!
Shannon: When you actually pray that he will sit and nurse longer than 4 minutes at a time so that you can rest for just a minute!
Cindy: You have to remind your kid to unlatch BEFORE walking away from you.... or jumping on the bed!
Ariel: When they know you’re touched out, so they ask for ‘just a little bit’ oh, so sweetly.
Kristin: They are constantly upside down.
Jamelle: Sometimes they just want to hug their boobies. They play ‘Tune in Tokyo” on whichever one is not being used.
Lisa: When you can’t make it from the dining room table to the shower without a nursing break.
Maryjane: When they put your boobs away after nursing! (I actually really appreciate this one!) When they tell YOU having milk (just a tiny little bit) will make them feel better.
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How would you finish the following sentence: You know you are a breastfeeding mom of a toddler when....